A Mighty Wild Battle

On this day in 1580 British explorer Mr John Smith was born. 439 years later the Wildboys would look to give the legend a huge birthday present by beating Windsor in what will be a royal battle.

The Queen was in residence and she was no doubt glued to her window to watch the brave knights of the Wildboys order go in to battle.

Lord George White had rallied his troops for the first game of the year. Although some of his battle toughened warriors, such as Sir Jon of the Down, and Squire Tots, were nursing battle wounds, the column of soldiers was still made up of legendary men. Men like Sir Harold the Pea Head, Sir Ralph the Wrecker, Sir Sam the Giant and their battle horse that goes by the name of Blobert.

The Great Lord won the toss and lined up the men in formation to head into battle. A swift blow of the war horn saw them rush into war screaming battle cries and hungry for blood.
The mighty war band had soon recovered the ball and were smashing into the Windsor defensive line. The mighty Wildboys forcing them backwards towards their line. It seemed Windsor had some fight in them, even with Sir Sam the Giant and Sir Hope the Handsome looming down on them. But inevitably the war horse Blobert soon was crashing into the line sending men flying and was over the line for the first score of the day.
The Wildboys cheering with glory were deceived by Windsor for a moment and allowed them to cross the line of defence. What were they thinking? A battle is never won in the first moments. But never fear this is not a tale of woe but of glory. They reformed their line and quickly were hammering down blow after blow which saw Sir Sam the farmer boy Ludgate power over the line quickly followed by Sir Harold the Pea Head. Half time and time for refreshments.

As the second wave of attack hit it seemed like the battled hardened Wildboys had just started. Big hits from Sir Ralph the Wrecker and big runs from second in command Sir Thomas the hand of the Lord White. Soon the hard work paid off and Sir Thomas was over for another score. Lord George White chuckled an evil chuckle, and thought this will not do, I must not be shown as being out done by my second in command. This energy did him fortunes as he too was soon over the line. A quick change of battle strategy saw Sir James of the Peachy Bums enter the field, his first battle since he was hamstringed by the invisible man. The Peachy bum was soon in action dancing from side to side to score a fine individual try. As the sun fell from the sky all warriors were still striding on and Sir Sam farmer boy Ludgate was over twice more, and thrice was the dashing Sir Hope the Handsome. Sir Maxi the Gladiator was soon powering over the line throwing men out of his path as he strode on. The battle was won 17-76.

The men sang their song loud to hear

They returned to the barracks and raised a flagon of the amber mead known as John Smith's and toasted to the great victory

Many man was voted as the bravest in battle like Sir Harold the Pea Heads, Sir Jeffers the Skinny, Sir Thomas the Hand of the Lord, Sir Hope the Handsome, Sir James of the Peachy Bums and Sir Coulon of the Hot Mums, but the two men that saw great glory on the field were Sir Ralph the Wrecker and Sir Sam the Farmer Boy Ludgate.
The Mare of the match fittingly went to the Battle Horse Blobert. This was down to him being a greedy little horsey and butchering a try scoring opportunity.
In a fortnight’s time the Soldiers will go in to battle against the battle-hardened Amersham and Chiltern. Until then keep it wild…

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X o x o

Man of the Match: Jon Goodson, Sam Ludgate
Mare of the Match: Robert Nichols
Tries: S.Ludgate(3), G.Hope(3), R.Nichols, T.White, H.Hillier, G.White, J.Way, M.Williams
Conv: H.Hillier(8)