The Wildboys just couldn't 'Beat It'

On the 20th October 1979 Michael Jackson’s “Off The Wall” album was fighting for the top spot reaching #3 in the US charts and #5 in the UK. Fast forward 39 years, coincidently the same age as Wildboys veteran Martin Bradbury, the Bracknell Stags were on route to Wildboys HQ for what was promised to be a Thriller. Both teams would be fighting for that much desired top spot in BBO1 so this fixture was going to be an exciting one.

The kick off was high and short by Bracknell’s new 10 who appeared to be the biggest fellow on the field, however Tots ‘Lurpak’ Rackstraw smoothly collected and the much-anticipated battle begun. It was clear from the off that it didn’t matter if you were Black Or White both teams were suitably pumped as the hits were hard, and the carries were courageous.

Before long the Wildboys found themselves in familiar territory, with a scrum in their oppositions 22. The ball was spun wide by Harry ‘Hot Foot’ Hillier to Rob ‘The Nob’ Nichols, who had options either side of him coming from Harry ‘Smooth Criminal’ Lowe and Jay ‘The Rabbit’ Abbott. It was spun wide, slightly fumbled, but scooped up by Max ‘The Weasel’ Wood who Moonwalked over to score the first points of the game. The conversion was expertly nudged over by the Bomber; 7-0. Just the start the Wildboys needed.

This kicked Bracknell on as they came back hard with another fine restart which the Stags competed and won. After a couple of mistakes from the Wildboys, Bracknell were gifted a penalty within range and their 10 stepped up. This surprisingly got pushed wide, and the Wildboys had a restart from their own 22. Collected by Bracknell who had their tails up, put together some fine play, where both forwards and backs worked together to drive forward. The Wildboys were caught slightly outnumbered round the fringes and the Stags burst over for their first try of the game. The subsequent conversion was missed leaving the Wildboys still in the lead at 7-5.

Shortly after the restart, the Wildboys got pulled up for being offside again, and this time the ball got sent between the uprights putting the Stags in the lead for the first time; 7-8. Captain George White had a stern word with those around the breakdown who were being penalised for the offsides, but the response he got was to Blame It on the Boogie. The Wildboys started again, and it was from this point that they found their groove. It didn’t matter which team was awarded a scrum, the Wildboys furiously pushed on and won every ball, putting the Stags on the backfoot on more than one occasion. The front row were awarded with a try when Sam ‘floodgate’ Ludgate burst through an open gap and punished the Stags with a 2nd try of the game. A Scream from the side lines bellowed across, and the conversion was struck well putting the Wildboys back in the lead at 14-8.

After some more punishing play by the Wildboys front 8, and some smooth hands by centres Abbott and Strathdee, Max Wood found himself karting around the edges and dipped in for his 2nd of the game, however this time the conversion dropped slightly short but left the scores at a comfortable 19-8. Some demanding words must have been said in the Stag camp, because the restart was sent high, giving them all the chance to compete. They won the ball and started their phase of attack. The Wildboys defence held up well, however the inevitable happened and Bracknell spotted a dog leg in the Wildboys defence and got their 2nd try, which was converted making the score a much closer 19-15. Bracknell didn’t not lose their rhythm and Billie Jean’d over for their 3rd try of the match which again was converted pushing the score to 19-22.

The half time whistle blew, and the scores stood at a nail biting 19-22. The Wildboys gathered and praised each other on a reasonable first 30 minutes performance, however some firm discussions were in full flow around the final 10 minutes. Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough was the Captain’s cry, as the 2nd half begun, both teams fully in it, and both wanting that much desired victory. Within 5 minutes the Man In The Mirror, George ‘The Hunk’ Hope, was shown a yellow card for persistent offences and he spent the next 10 minutes in the bin and to top it off the Wildboys were punished with yet another 3 points from Bracknell’s 10. The good start the Wildboys requested from themselves turned out to the be the opposite, Bad, really, really Bad. The one thing however that the Chinnor side could rely on was their front five, rocking their opposite numbers and they maintained pressure all over the parquet.

A gap spotted by the Wildboys 10 saw him canter through bursting the gain line, followed up with some solid clearing by partners Tom White and Mark Bradburn gave Harry Hillier a good platform to build some phases. Jon Goodson had some strong carries followed by Harry ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’ Franklin. This pushed Bracknell onto the back foot and allowed the Stranger In Moscow; Mr Tom Strathdee to furiously run around the flanks and award the Wildboys with their bonus point 4th try. With the conversion missed, this left the Wildboys 1 away with the scores standing at 24-25. Time for some fresh legs, Jon ‘The Size of a Town’ Down came on for Max Wood who had a hurty leg. Dan ‘Watch my Hips’ Coulon came on for Harry Hillier and James ‘Peter’ Way for Harry Lowe.

The Wildboys defence stayed strong, and no matter how much Bracknell pushed on they could not break down the fortress. There was one person who could however. In quick succession the referee awarded Bracknell with several penalties and if they happened to be in the Chinnor sides half, the Wildboys would be punished as they saw the ball sail over the sticks not once but twice from expertly struck kicks. With the score now standing at 24-31 the Wildboys needed a moment of magic. Substitute Dan Coulon provided. With a rare penalty awarded to the Wildboys in Bracknell’s 22, a quick tap and go, saw his hips dance their way around the retreating Stags and pushed over for the much needed 5th try. However, this left the Wildboys trailing 29-31, so the conversion was a pressured kick and with The Bomb substituted, the plea was for Strathdee to step up and prove how much he now loves the Wildboys. The proof was in the pudding, as he Beat It over settling the scores at 31-31.

With the final 5 minutes left to play, the Wildboys had a handful of chances which went begging. The inevitable happened, and the referee blew his whistle signalling the end of the match. It is assumed that both teams felt like the draw was bittersweet, as both left with some points, however the Wildboys came away with more due to their try bonus point which could prove to be useful towards the end of the season.

Several nominations were made for Man of the Match. Jayson Abbott, the White brothers, Jon Goodson, Sam Ludgate, Strathdee, Lowe and Max Wood all deserved their votes, however the winner was awarded to Dan ‘Rock With It’ Coulon who made an immediate impact when he came on in the 2nd half. The mare accolade was much harder to vote for as every lad performed strongly, but it was awarded to Harry Franklin for shouting ‘nooo’ when Coulon went over for his try. Guy Hackshaw kindly did the honours for him as Frankles was absent at court.

Until next time, keep it wild
You know you love me
xoxo
Gossip Girl

Man of the Match: Dan Coulon
Mare of the Match: Harry Franklin
Tries: M. Wood (2), S. Ludgate, T.Strathdee, D. Coulon
Conv: H. Hillier (2), T. Strathdee